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Do you ever feel defeated? Defeated because of expectations, or should I say unmet expectations, whether it’s expectations for your spouse, your children, your homeschool, your church, or your friends. The feeling of defeat is an awful feeling! It can get you discouraged to the point of wanting to give up. It can affect your health. It can affect the way you treat others. It can affect your homeschool and the way you teach or not teach. It can affect relationships. Most importantly it can affect your walk with the Lord!
I have heard several times, “lower your expectations and you won’t be disappointed”. I’ll be honest, I have tried that. But I keep raising that bar back up. If the expectations aren’t unreasonable or unattainable there’s no reason for them to be lowered. I believe that is called enabling.
Ever wonder what would happen if God lowered His expectations for us or even worse, felt like giving up on us? Does Sodom and Gomorrah come to mind? Or maybe Noah? Okay, I know that was judgement, but you’ve got to admit God was pretty fed up.
I’m sure I’m not the only homeschooling mom to deal with this issue. I am writing this more for myself than anyone else. I know, that is really selfish of me! But sometimes if I get something out on paper(screen) it forces me to actually tear apart an issue and really focus on it.
Defeat – To frustrate; to prevent the success of; to disappoint. This definition is from the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary. This is my favorite dictionary and I use it all the time.
Okay so defeat is to frustrate and to disappoint, but to prevent the success of? Prevent the success of the one we are disappointed in or prevent the success of ourselves?
I would have to say both! When I get disappointed in someone to the point of feeling defeated it definitely shows in my manner, tone, facial expressions, and overall demeanor. I can see how this could prevent the other person from success, or even wanting to try to succeed.
My behavior, due to feeling defeated, is also preventing me from success. Instead of letting an issue go so long that I get to the point of feeling defeated, I should address the issue before it feels out of control.
We need to realize that we are in a battle everyday of our lives. There is an enemy out to destroy us and that enemy is not your spouse, your children, your homeschool, your church, or your friends. Although he would love to get our focus off of him by lashing out at the ones that matter to us. 1 Peter 5:8(KJV) states, “ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”.
Instead of lashing out at the one who disappointed me I need to realize that everything is in God’s control and whatever I am going through God will give me the peace to endure. I just need to stand on His promises and trust Him. John 16:33(KJV) states, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
Why is it that we let so much get to us? Maybe it’s not the expectations of others, but the expectations we have for ourselves. There is so much pressure out there to be the perfect godly woman, the perfect godly wife, the perfect godly mom, to have the perfect godly homeschool.
I need to realize there is no perfection this side of heaven no matter how hard I try! Instead of being disappointed in myself every time I fail I need to fall to my knees and seek God’s grace and realize that no matter what I may be experiencing God is greater. Then I need to get up, get back on track, and stand firm. 1 Corinthians 16:13(KJV) states, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” and Romans 8:37(KJV) states, “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”
I praise and thank God that He is a merciful, long-suffering, grace giving God that I can come to and He will NEVER let me down!
How do you handle the feeling of defeat?